The Way You Laugh
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: I'm sure everyone wondered what was in the letters that Seth left for his parents and Summer, well here's my idea of what was inside. And Summer realizes just how much she really loved Seth.


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. This story was inspired by the song "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee.

A/N: Wow, the number of reviews I've gotten so far for my latest _O.C. _story has been outstanding. However, I never really planned on writing a longer story out of that one but what I can give you is another short story based on the finale. Seth and Summer are my favorite couple, so it only seems fitting to write a story based around them. Let me know what you think about this one too.

The words that Kirsten Cohen had sobbed over the phone only moments ago to Summer Roberts still hadn't really registered in the girl's head. Not even as she drove to the Cohen house, pushing seventy in a thirty-five mile zone and all but daring a police officer to try and stop her. She could hear the words repeated over and over again but somehow, they just didn't seem true, didn't seem possible. _Summer, Seth's gone. _Summer pursed her lips and thought, _Gone? Where could he have gone? _It just didn't seem like something Seth would do.

Yet, here she was, finally pulling into the driveway of the Cohen house, the words still running through her head. She had just seen him, only hours before, when he had come to her house to ask if she was going to say goodbye to Ryan. He seemed upset but that was understandable, Summer knew, but gone? There had to be some misunderstanding.

Summer was already out of her car even as she was pulling the keys out of the ignition. She didn't bother to knock on the front door but instead just walked right inside, finding Kirsten and Sandy Cohen in the living room. They were both sitting on the couch and Kirsten was crying, just as she had been on the phone, holding a sheet of paper and Seth's favorite toy horse, Captain Oats. Seeing Kirsten with the horse made Summer realize that things were perhaps as bad as Kirsten had made them seem over the phone.

"Ms. Cohen?" Summer questioned tentatively, causing both adults to look over at her. She stood in silence for a moment, not quite sure what to say; she had never seen Kirsten cry before, not even when she and Marissa had accidentally broken her mother's favorite vase and the only thing she had had left of the woman. Seeing her now broke something inside of Summer and she wasn't quite sure what.

Sandy stood up and herded Summer over to the couch where his wife was sitting. "I went to talk to Seth about how he felt about Ryan leaving and found these letters on his dresser." He explained, looking like he had been crying himself. He picked up an envelope, unopened, that lay on the table; Summer saw that it had her name printed on the front in Seth's unmistakable handwriting.

Summer took the letter and stared at it for a moment, not quite sure she wanted to know what was inside. "I still don't understand." She mumbled instead. "Where could Seth have gone?" Kirsten hadn't been specific on the phone and had only managed to choke out a few words before Sandy had come on the line and asked her to drive over to the house. Well, here she was and she still had no idea what was really going on.

Kirsten held the sheet of paper she was holding out to Summer, who took it but didn't bother to read the words. "He left, he took his boat and he left." She explained, sniffing as she forced the words out.

Summer's eyes went wide. "He what?" She repeated, incredulously, finally looking down at the letter Kirsten had even her. There wasn't much to read and she got the basis of the letter pretty quick. _Life sucks here; I took the boat and I'm sailing to Tahiti. I might not be back again, don't bother to look for me, I'll be fine. Give Summer the letter I wrote for her. Love you, Seth._

"Tahiti." Summer muttered, not liking the feel of the word against her tongue. "How does he think he can make it to Tahiti? That thing's barely even a boat!" She handed the letter back to Kirsten, forcing herself to blink back the tears that were trying to escape from her eyes. What was he thinking? Just leaving them like that, leaving her? __

Kirsten pressed a crumpled tissue against her eyes and remained silent. Sandy looked over at Summer and said, "If you want to read your letter in private, we'll understand." Summer nodded and stood, heading down the hallway and toward Seth's room, something she had done very often lately.

The room was just as she had remembered it last, with the bed unmade and posters of local and popular bands tacked to the wall. The only thing missing was Captain Oats and, of course, Seth.

Summer sat down on the bed and fingered the letter in her hands; what had Seth written inside of it? Did she even want to know? She tore the envelope open and carefully unfolded the letter so that she could read the words Seth had printed out only moments after deciding to leave.

_Dear Summer,_

Writing your letter is going to be the hardest because I have so much to say to you and I'm going to say it now before I wimp out and don't write anything at all. I love you, Summer, and I'm sure that you're pissed at me for leaving and I don't blame you. But I had to leave; New Port is a shitty place and there's nothing left for me there, aside from you. And if it's meant to be, then I'll see you again. So please, try to understand why I had to leave.

Once, before we started dating and I was still that geeky boy no one really paid any attention to, Anna asked me what I saw in you. I didn't really have a hard time answering because I've liked you pretty much my whole life but I didn't tell her. But I'm telling you now, just so that you know these things when I'm gone. Summer, I love everything about you: the way your eyes sparkle when you're about to do something you know you shouldn't, and the way your hair always seems to frame your face, no matter what. I love the way you always look shocked every time the ship sinks in Titanic _even though you've seen it a hundred times and how you always cry when Lassie comes home. And I love the way you laugh._

But what I love most of all is the way that you finally saw the person that I really was, the real Seth Cohen that loves comic books and can't stand to be without Captain Oats. The Seth Cohen that can't stand up for himself when the other guys beat him up in the hallway and the Seth Cohen that's been in love with you ever since that day in kindergarten when you told the teacher that eating too much chocolate was bad for your complexion and wouldn't let me be on your team when we played hide-and-seek on the playground. You saw that Seth Cohen and you loved what you saw, whether you wanted to or not.

And as I'm writing this, I now know that I'm crazy for leaving you, the amazing person that I love so much. Yet, I'm still leaving and I'm not sure that I'll be back. Just remember how much I love you Summer, that I love your good parts and your bad parts (like the way you still won't call me Seth). Maybe I'll be able to send you a postcard from Tahiti, a "wish you were here" sort of thing. I already wish you were here and I haven't even left yet.

Take care of my parents, especially my mom because I know she's already upset about the whole Ryan thing and don't let Marissa fall in love with another guy from Chino.

Love you always,

-Cohen

P.S. I want you to have Captain Oats; he's too well-adjusted to New Port to travel.

Summer was in tears long before she finished reading the letter Seth had left for her. But when she finally came to end of the letter, she could no longer stop herself from giving into her tears completely, dropping the letter and burying her face in her hands. She didn't think she had ever been more upset in her entire life and upset wasn't even the word to cover what she was feeling; it was as if her heart was being torn into pieces and she couldn't get her breath. How could he leave her? How could he when he was the only guy she'd ever loved and the only guy she ever wanted to love. Seth had spent his whole life trying to get her and now that he had her, it was like she wasn't enough anymore.

Summer didn't even look up when Kirsten entered the room and sat down on the bed beside her. "Oh honey." She tried to sooth but was still crying herself as she pulled the girl into her arms. Summer allowed Kirsten to comfort her, pressing her face against her chest and letting her tears fall, unashamed.

"He has to come back." Summer mumbled, more to herself then to Kirsten. "He can't leave me."

Kirsten didn't seem to hear what she said because she didn't say anything in response. Summer and Kirsten sat for a long time on Seth's now empty bed in his now empty bedroom, feeling fully just how empty his departure left their hearts.

It had taken Summer nearly a day and a half to pull herself together long enough to leave the house but she had finally done in, driving down to the coastline, by the rocks where Seth had taken her one time. The beach was deserted aside from herself and the small, plastic horse that sat in the sand beside her. Summer gazed out at the nearly still waters, wondering if the sea was as calm where Seth was.

Summer sighed and looked down at the glass bottle that she held in her hands, the reason she had come down to the beach in the first place. She had read Seth's letter so many times that she had memorized it and the paper was creased, wrinkled and close to falling apart; but it bothered her that she hadn't been able to tell him how she felt about him. And now, whether he was going to get the letter or not, Summer had found her way to let him know just how much she had always loved him, with the clichéd message in a bottle. But it didn't seem like a cliché now as she stood, trying to fight back the tears as she wondered if Seth was safe and if she was ever going to see him again.

As she prepared to toss the glass bottle into the waves, Summer reflected upon what she had written inside. She had forced herself to write the letter all at once, because she knew that if she thought about the words she'd never finish; the letter had come from her heart, just like Seth's had.

_Dear Seth,_

See, I called you "Seth" this time, just like you've always wanted. I don't know if you're ever going to read this letter because I have no idea where you are and that scares me. My whole life you've always been there, always right there to make me smile or make me want to throttle you. But now you're gone and I have no idea what to do.

I tried to understand why you left but I just can't and I'm sorry. In your letter, you wrote all the things you loved about me and I tried to do the same but there's just too many things that I love, things that wouldn't sound as good on paper. I love the way you always talked about comic books even though you knew that no one was actually listening. And I love the way you _always cry when Lassie comes home. I love the way you make me laugh, whether you realized it or not, you were the only person that could really make me laugh and mean it._

But most of all, I love the way that you saw through the act I put on for everyone and loved the woman beneath, the woman that I always wanted everyone to see. You were the only person that did, you were the only person that loved the real me. And whether you believe it or not, I've always loved you.

And I still do,

-Summer

P.S. Captain Oats isn't doing too well without you, so you'd better come home soon.

Drawing in a deep breath, Summer tossed the bottle as far out into the ocean as she could. Whether or not Seth would get the letter was out of her hands. Whether she would ever see him again was as well.

Only time would tell. __


End file.
